The End of an Era (well overdue)

Butcher · September 9, 2021

This morning at 9:14AM, all our known avenues for re-obtaining the audio track Gov Patrol - as originally performed as a cover of Paw Patrol by the early 2020 Regional Government team - were exhausted.

Gov Patrol wrapped up our time spent on the server borderline minging in an extremely unorthodox fashion. Our tenure combatted our (and probably the servers) understanding of what it truly means to minge and tested the limits of the staff team time after time, ushering in an era of "smart minging". From writing up docs of hundreds of words to screw with people about literally beverages, to abusing our power by forming the "Bureau of Financial, Economic and Cyber Crimes Enforcement" - my time on the server left somewhat of a lasting impact.

A lot of the ideas we had went unfished, due to time constraints, out-of-character issues and overall our lack of commitment after having several exciting changes that were promised but never delivered on. But after all this we did actually get something substantial done, a new clearance level test system. I do believe that it was the longest one to go without being replaced or rewritten, which was great. Not many people understood the amount of work myself and others put into it, so I'm just going to list off a few things because we did fuck you:

100+ hours combined of work on the new document, spreadsheet and proposals.
3841 words and 20 pages on one document outlining the whole change.
A fully automated spreadsheet that processed everything with integration to both recruit training databases and internal filtering (to some degree).
Entirely new marking criteria based off a numerical system to make it fairer and less prone to bias. This was opposed to the old Pass/Fail system regardless of answers.
Hour after hour of meetings creating the new change
A failed practical portion of the tests - which was great but just didn't work on a large scale or with certain regiments.

Hopefully now you actually know that we didn't do nothing. Documents are fun, you cannot convince me otherwise.

I'm going to leave you with the inspirational lyrics of Gov Patrol, and the links to a selection of my favourite documents and photos made over the nearly one year I spent in Gov:

Gov Patrol, Gov Patrol will be there on the double.
When ever there's a problem, 'round Anaxes Bay, Scheff and his team of clerks will come and save the day.
Stathi, Ragnar, Dutch, Wind, Anthony, Morgan, Butcher, Yeah!
they are on the way!
Gov Patrol, Gov Patrol, when ever you're in trouble.
Gov Patrol, Gov Patrol will be there on the double.
No jobs too big!
No clerks too small!
Gov Patrol we're on the rule...
So here we go Gov Patrol whoaa...
Gov Patrol whoaaaa...
Gov Patrol

Clearance Level Database; not used anymore and I made it so I'm sharing it - ignore the parts where the new kids ruined my formatting

The Tragic Butcher x Grif Romance Story: screaming at Grif in several meetings, undermining Grif's authority on several occasions, constantly replacing random words with "queef" in meetings with Grif, getting married to Grif, having a child with Grif (Caterina), becoming a widow when Grif left.

The Beverage Saga: The Beverage Comparison, "Corellian Red Robe" Damages

Clearance Level Exams - a new perspective

Bureau of Financial, Economic and Cyber Crimes Enforcement | Personnel Dossier

Sexy Document Classifications 2.0

The document that really hurt my feelings: Regimental Merger | 26/04/2020

^ Spreadsheet for that, very ugly but it actually still works because my automation is flawless.

Honourable mentions: sexy data sheets, spreadsheet after spreadsheet, #approved merchandise, countless hours of fun, Naboo rotation days