Jump to content

A 1000 Word Essay About Potato Chips


Recommended Posts

Hi @Kristofer, thanks for submitting your assignment in on time for once! :D


"are available for grabs" This isn't really the tone we're looking for in an informative essay Kris.
"
by myself." - Let's try stick to Third-Person in these informative reports please Kristofer, it says this in the task sheet.
"I did not even know that there were this many flavours for the potato chip brand." Third-Person, Kris.
"The first flavour is the fan-favourite Lay's Classic." - I would like to see some stats about this, please.
"It’s overall just a solid potato chip flavour." - This is meant to be a professional paper, this sentence is Elementary.
"
unmistakenly my personal favourite flavour" - As a professional text this report should be kept unbiased, and again, Third-Person.
"This is a solid chip flavour, it’s not bad." - Unprofessional sentence, this is why you should attend the weekend workshops I hold in the quadrangle.
"
The fourth potato chip.." - A well-structured paragraph, well done, Kris.
"
name of the flavour reminds me.." - Third-Person.
"
The Kettle Cooked Lay’s Chips..." - Nice paragraph, very informative.
"
The Lay’s Wavy has a wavy and covered in ridges." - What were you trying to say here?
"
brand “Smith’s,”..." - The Comma should be outside the quotation marks if it's not apart of the brand's name.
"
brand “Ruffles.”" - You did it again here, we learnt about this in week 6.
"
Furthermore, in conclusion," - Pick one, not both.
"
I seem to be suffering an inability to sleep resulting in me spending most of tonight writing this four-page essay entailing the numerous flavours provided by the Lay’s brand of potato chips." - Third-Person.
"
References" - This section isn't in the appropriate layout, please look back at 'how to make a reference list 101' in your textbook.

Overall Kristofer a fairly neat and tidy report. Most of the time it was easy to read and for the most part it was very informative. Out of a possible 100 marks you have been deducted 16 making your total score 84/100, or 84%. This gets you a grade of a B. Make sure to read through all my notes so next time we can try aim higher. :) Enjoy your weekend Kristofer, see you in class next week. 

  • Upvote 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
25 minutes ago, Dirthi said:

Hi @Kristofer, thanks for submitting your assignment in on time for once! :D


"are available for grabs" This isn't really the tone we're looking for in an informative essay Kris.
"
by myself." - Let's try stick to Third-Person in these informative reports please Kristofer, it says this in the task sheet.
"I did not even know that there were this many flavours for the potato chip brand." Third-Person, Kris.
"The first flavour is the fan-favourite Lay's Classic." - I would like to see some stats about this, please.
"It’s overall just a solid potato chip flavour." - This is meant to be a professional paper, this sentence is Elementary.
"
unmistakenly my personal favourite flavour" - As a professional text this report should be kept unbiased, and again, Third-Person.
"This is a solid chip flavour, it’s not bad." - Unprofessional sentence, this is why you should attend the weekend workshops I hold in the quadrangle.
"
The fourth potato chip.." - A well-structured paragraph, well done, Kris.
"
name of the flavour reminds me.." - Third-Person.
"
The Kettle Cooked Lay’s Chips..." - Nice paragraph, very informative.
"
The Lay’s Wavy has a wavy and covered in ridges." - What were you trying to say here?
"
brand “Smith’s,”..." - The Comma should be outside the quotation marks if it's not apart of the brand's name.
"
brand “Ruffles.”" - You did it again here, we learnt about this in week 6.
"
Furthermore, in conclusion," - Pick one, not both.
"
I seem to be suffering an inability to sleep resulting in me spending most of tonight writing this four-page essay entailing the numerous flavours provided by the Lay’s brand of potato chips." - Third-Person.
"
References" - This section isn't in the appropriate layout, please look back at 'how to make a reference list 101' in your textbook.

Overall Kristofer a fairly neat and tidy report. Most of the time it was easy to read and for the most part it was very informative. Out of a possible 100 marks you have been deducted 16 making your total score 84/100, or 84%. This gets you a grade of a B. Make sure to read through all my notes so next time we can try aim higher. :) Enjoy your weekend Kristofer, see you in class next week. 

Don't listen to Dirthi, Kris, he is an alcholic and is probably reading your essay with double vision. Your essay actually netted you a score of 91/100, congratulations :)

  • Angry 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Dirthi said:

Overall Kristofer a fairly neat and tidy report. Most of the time it was easy to read and for the most part it was very informative. Out of a possible 100 marks you have been deducted 16 making your total score 84/100, or 84%. This gets you a grade of a B. Make sure to read through all my notes so next time we can try aim higher. :) Enjoy your weekend Kristofer, see you in class next week. 

You're like my actual English teacher.
image.thumb.png.258effb3b7931b3e01f5d8c05b36712d.png

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

If I had to mark this essay 9/10. The only thing that disappoints myself is the unimpressing bibliography. Where is the Author? Where is the date of publication? If this was a real 'Intellectual Essay' this oversight would of not been missed.




I would just like to say this is a 'joke'. It a 8/10 at best.

Edited by Nemo
Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...