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Demonic

Explanation... (18+)

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Okay. Hello everyone, today I'd like to address in a recent post I made and why I left the server for a short amount of time.

This isn't a pity party. This is an explanation for my recent rants, and constant anger.

(There's going to be some heavy topics, so be warned)

Okay. So pretty much, I've been medically described as a psychopath. As in, a Doctor literally told me and my parents that I'm a psychopath while I was very young at age. Now, it was to the point where I didn't know what being a psychopath meant. So I asked what it meant. My parents described to me that psychopaths are 'Very bad people that do horrible things to others. And go to prison'. Being that I was so young, and the fact I was just diagnosed as one, I thought my parents were directly addressing me. And whilst they love me, there was always a breach in connection ever since that day, almost as if there was a transparent wall between me, and others I knew. Where all I could see was people laughing at me, keeping their distance, or whispering to each other about god knows what. And that was my life for the next 6-8 years. I started to become very sad and anxious. Considering that my parents had to notify the teachers and students of my 'Dis-ability', this made things much worse. With the occasional suicidal thought sometimes floating around, I was then introduced to Games, specifically Video Games. It offered me a release mechanism. The mind is sometimes a good thing to let go for a while, especially for the situation I was in.

Just for clarification. The type of Psychopathic behavior I show is not one driven by anger, as not all psychopaths want to kill everything. I'll get to some of the benefits of my 'problem' later on.

I used Video Games to get everything out of my system. I made new friends, and lost however few old ones I had in real life. And used to vent to others about my 'depression' and 'mental disorders' whilst still hiding my true problem from them, in fear of what they would think of me.

This is where I stumble on Imperial Gaming, a random server I joined after serving my time on Colossal as an EM. It was an extremely fresh breath of air, everyone was so accepting. It really made me feel like I belonged, however, still I hadn't shown that I was a psychopath to anyone. Now, around 3-4 months later. I was faced with something that still leaves me scarred to this day. A person on the internet was sending death threats my way, and actually sent me a picture of my house. This did not help my case whatsoever, I kept the whole drama away from my parents, and paid the guy to leave us alone. Yet he harassed me from a distance. He still shows me that same photo of my house now. And when I asked the community for help, and support, no-one came. People either told me to go to the police or denied the story all-together. This made me very angry, but I kept my anger sealed behind my happy expressions.

I don't know if this is a gift, or a curse, but I've always been able to tell if someone is lying from when I was six. And having my parents and teachers lie to me about how everything was going to be okay hurt, a lot.

1-2 months later. We're here, and I messed up. I let some of my anger slip, and now we're left with me on the verge of leaving the community permanently. Yet, I still find myself drawn to the community. So I will stay, and find my place in belonging once again. But, on the exception that people stop lying to me about shit. It's really de-moralizing ;)

 

Anyway, that was my story. Thank you for reading.

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I don't see the point of sharing that personal story other than to tell us that you have a superhuman ability to tell when people are lying. Maybe you should work for the government and interrogate suspects, make the world a better place.

 

:coolstorybob:

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1 minute ago, AiRiiD said:

I don't see the point of sharing that personal story other than to tell us that you have a superhuman ability to tell when people are lying. Maybe you should work for the government and interrogate suspects, make the world a better place.

 

:coolstorybob:

One step at a time, I'm only 14.

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5 minutes ago, draKe said:

One step at a time, I'm only 14.

If you aren't the "anger driven" type of psychopath, what did the psychologists/doctors see in you that made them diagnose you at such a young age? I'm really curious.

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5 minutes ago, AiRiiD said:

If you aren't the "anger driven" type of psychopath, what did the psychologists/doctors see in you that made them diagnose you at such a young age? I'm really curious.

Tbh, I have no clue. Either they didn't explain it in front of me, or I merely forgot. I just remember my parents getting told they found psychotic behavior. And my parents explaining what a psychopath is, I'm guessing that at the time, the statement was a theory or hunch, and that statement was later proven over time. What with my antisocial behavior and lack of personal relationships.

Edited by draKe

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If there's liars, make them trip over their own stories, usually pretty funny if you can manage it.

You can't help the fact you're a psychopath, fuck it, come play on IG with us.

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Just now, Jellal said:

You can't help the fact you're a psychopath, fuck it, come play on IG with us.

One step ahead ;) 

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Wouldn’t want to play 2 truth’s 1 lie with you...

 

Seriously though, im sure you will find your place in the world some day and IG is happy to be that place for now.

Edited by Kumo
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Hope all is well, quite interesting as everybody has psychopathic tendencies believe it or not

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I will not think of you differently, your a great person and that’s what matters. You are more than welcome here no matter what. 

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Keep us updated on how your going the community will always be here to listen and help. I’m saying this because if you keep it to your self you will only get more Sad and it’s not very healthy for your mental system. Also keep us updated on that Thug that keeps bothering you. Or you get the community on him and let us send him death threats. But that may back fire because he might send us your personal details. Anyway we are always here to help. Good Luck.

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2 minutes ago, Wombatiacus said:

Keep us updated on how your going the community will always be here to listen and help. I’m saying this because if you keep it to your self you will only get more Sad and it’s not very healthy for your mental system. Also keep us updated on that Thug that keeps bothering you. Or you get the community on him and let us send him death threats. But that may back fire because he might send us your personal details. Anyway we are always here to help. Good Luck.

Agreed

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It would be a shame if you reported that guy to the police and he spent the rest of a small amount of time in jail?

"It is a crime to intentionally frighten someone by threats  or intimidation  . This can be through your phone, text message, emails or online posts . Threatening to kill someone carries a maximum penalty of 10 years in jail . "

- A very reputable lawyers website

Rather than saying "yeah fuck that guy what a loser!" how about we do something about it?

https://www.crimestoppers.com.au/ assuming we're all australian.

https://www.lifeline.org.au/

http://www.psychology.org.au/FindaPsychologist/

Give them hell kid.

Edited by Mordecai

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Even though this is an old topic if I knew this man who harassed you i'll find him and twist his neck like a roll up. I'll watch out for people like that for you

Edited by Jackson
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17 hours ago, Jackson said:

Even though this is an old topic if I knew this man who harassed you i'll find him and twist his neck like a roll up. I'll watch out for people like that for you

and i get a forum warn for posting on a one week thread.... lol

Edited by Kix

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